Behind Marigold Eyes
by saiai-chan
Summary: Small vingnettes into Murrue's past and her and Mwu's relationship...really short. pairing: MwuxMurrue fluff. chap 5 up!
1. Lament of an Child

This is kinda something I thought Murrue might be thinking after Mwu died in phase 49 of Gundam Seed.

enjoy!

* * *

I was a child...

lost in the darkness

confused,

afraid,

and trapped.

When I cried out;

no one heard me.

they only looked or called when they laughed and scorned me

not caring or bothering to see my tears.

I cried,

so many nights

to the cold, heartless wind

and the tears would just stream down

flowing, like an endless spring.

Then, one day,

my heart had hardened

"no longer would people laugh at me." i thought

and I closed the doors to my heart.

and threw a way the key to it…

Or so I thought.

then I met you

Somehow, in some way

you found that key.

Slowly,

but surely,

you made your way into my heart.

I thought that the world was cruel,

and unforgiving.

But you proved me wrong.

the world was beautiful

and magnificent

and filled

with so much wonder that I couldn't even begin to describe it.

and,

what I found out was that there were people like you,

who were kind and patient.

and who didn't care what people thought of themselves.

My life was better, my view of the world was better,

because,

_you_ were in the world.

But now…you left me…

* * *

wow! Only 200 words..that's a first... 

anyways...please leave a review. Constructive criticism is welcome, but please no flames.

(if it's confusing right now I apologize, it becomes clearer in the later chapters)


	2. Dark Past

I don't own Gundam Seed never have, and never will…sadly…TT.TT 

This is in Murrue's POV.

* * *

"She's too nice; people like her don't belong in the military." 

"I bet she's nice because that's how people were always around her…I heard that she grew pretty rich and spoiled."

"Never, talk about my background like that," I said, gritting my teeth.

"Yah, she probably could have anything she wanted too."

"Hey Murrue! What was it like being a rich little girl?"

"Don't you _ever_ talk about me like that!" I said as I stormed out of the dining hall.

I tried to hide my tears, as best I could; then, when I came into my room, I broke down, tears flowing out like a river.

In my sadness, I didn't hear the door open, and I didn't realize it until a strong pair of arms encircled me.

"You okay?" he asked, his calm voice whispered in my ear, "What happened?"

"Everyone says I'm too soft a captain. Yet, compared to other people out there, I'd rather be how I am now.

My past isn't a pretty one, like everyone thinks.

When I was little, my older brother, Matthew, and I grew up in San Francisco. We weren't part of the military, (as far as I can remember) and, hell, we didn't even know who our real parents were. We were dropped off at the orphanage, when I was 2. Matthew, being 3 years older than me, said that he kinda remembers mom and dad. He told me this while we were walking outside in the orphanage garden, if one could even call it that. They were really nice, and apparently, during a vacation in Spain, were killed in an anti-natural terrorist act. Soon after, people came and took Matthew and me to the orphanage in San Francisco. Once there, Matt and I stayed for about 5 years. I remember when we were there; the older kids would come and corner me, and beat me up.

Soon after, two people came to the orphanage, a young lady and a young man. Before we knew it, we were adopted and taken to their home.

Our "dad" smoked and swore…a lot. And "mom" was passive; giving into my father's harsh demands, so that he wouldn't beat her. I remember when I was really little, maybe about 7, I accidentally knocked over my "dad's" computer. Because, after I did that, he started yelling at me and said something that sounded like: "YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING-BITCH! WHY THE FREAKING HELL DID YOU TIP THAT OVER?" And then, quietly, I answered, "I'm sorry." But, apparently, sorry didn't cut it in my new family. He yelled at "mom" to close the windows and lock the doors. Then, he took me into a room and beat me. The beatings continued all the way into high school. Then they just got worse." I paused, and looked up at Mwu, who looked inquisitive. But I knew that he'd only be in shock afterwards. "After I entered high school, my grades, although great, were never enough to please him. Then, one day, he got so fed up at me, that, one night, he…he…"

"What's wrong Murrue?" asked Mwu."One night, he closed the windows and doors as he had always done. But this time, he…he…he got the kitchen knife and cut my arms and, sometimes, my legs and ankles." I held myself close to Mwu and small tears floated in the weightlessness of space, "If I screamed, cried, or showed any signs of resistance, he'd cut me again. And he did that every day afterwards. I…I still have many of the scars." And I pulled up the sleeve of my jacket to reveal markings of where my "dad" had beaten me all those years ago. "As soon as I got the chance, I enrolled in a military college, to get away from my parents. Soon after that, I met _him_." I felt Mwu tense up, which he always did whenever I mention _his_ name. "And _he_ asked about the markings o my wrists. I couldn't tell him anything. And I wasn't that I didn't trust him or anything, But I was afraid. Because, when I left for college, my dad had told me and my brother, 'if you _ever_ tell anyone about what happened these past 10 years, then…I WILL KILL YOU!.'" I cried all the harder, scarred for life by the events of my childhood.

"Shhhh…its ok," soothed Mwu, "No one's going to hurt you anymore."

"But still, but still…"

"It'll be okay, I'll make sure that no one hurts you like this again."

"If, if my "father" finds out that I told you this...he might…he might…" I couldn't bring myself to say the words.

"He might what?" I turned my head away…I couldn't face the awful reality of what might happen.

"He, he might, he might try to kill us…" I choked out the words, "My brother, as soon as he graduated from college, told the authorities of our "parents". After he was released, my dad hunted down and killed my brother. Again, my father went to jail. And from what I've heard, he's broken out."

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what do you guys (and girls) think? please leave a review.  



	3. Nightmare

Thank you all who reviewed! Uhh…I actually have no idea where to go with this story but I want this story to continue…please PM me and give me a suggestion…ok…I'm rambling now so I'll stop.

To comply with new rules (authors can't post chapters to just ramble anymore…) I'll write something…

Warning(s): language

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(Still in Murrue's POV)

(Panting) Where' am I? I was running from something…no, I was running from someone. But who?

An alley? Shit; I'm cornered. The person's shadow flickered with the street light. He was big.

"You really thought you could hide from me?" T_hat voice sounds familiar…who are you?_ "You forgot who I am already?" _no, "dad" what are you doing here! Why are you here? _"You told him didn't you?"

"I-I d-d-don't know w-what you-you're talking about."

"LIES!" I could feel my eyes enlarge and teeth chattering…not from the cold, but out of fear. "Hahahah! You're afraid aren't you? Afraid of what I can do to you. Isn't that right? My daughter."

"I never thought of you as my father…Matthew was my only family. He was all I had, and you…you killed him!"

"I'm so sorry. I accidentally killed him in a fit of rage…he was to be my heir. You know, I only wanted a son. Matthew was bright and courageous. But he was so attached to his little sister. So your mom and I had no choice but to take you as well."

"So, you adopted me, even though you didn't want to; just because Matthew insisted. Why didn't you leave, just like the other couples did when they realized that Matthew wouldn't leave without me, or vice-versa?"

Raising his hand, he grabbed my by the collar of my shirt.

"Tell you what, before I kill you or your little boyfriend, I'll give you a head start. You have five minutes to try to run from me."  
He dropped me. I scramble out from under him and raced off through the city. I dared to glance at my watch…five minutes passed already?

A building! I'll hide in there.

As soon as I entered, my clothes changed; now I was wearing a white gown. A long hall lay in front of me, people were staring. An organ played…the wedding march?

I reached the end. Standing next to me was…Mwu!

"Hey there," he said smiling at me. The vows were exchanged and so were the rings.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Mwu looked at me; I felt his lips brush past mine. Oh my god, I'm married! Not only that, I'm with the man I really love.

A gun went off.

Mwu? No, dammit! god, please don't let him die, he's the only one I have left now. I felt something warm and sticky on my hands…blood, no. Please don't say that he's…

"MWU!" I sprang up from the bed.

"Hey, you okay?"

"You're…you're alive," I said, sounding relieved.

"Of course I am; why wouldn't I be?"

"It…was…just a dream…" I said to myself reassuringly.

"Yup, I'm right here,"

--  
(Resume normal POV)  
--

"Yup, I'm right here," he said, kissing Murrue lightly on the forehead. Murrue snuggled closer.

"Please don't leave my side."

"I won't, I promise."

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ehh...not bad for a brainless attempt at 11:45 at night... 

anyways, please leave a review and/or constructive criticism


	4. Envy of the Sky

Envy of the Sky

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed…wish I did, can't

Author's note: it sounds a little Shakespearean because I had to write this for an English assignment. We were supposed to write a sonnet. I was stuck for ideas, then it hit me. This is in Murrue's POV

So…without further ado, let us begin!

The sky's blue hues are none compared to thee.  
Thine eyes, purer than the rivers that flow.  
Spending time together, just you and me,  
I love thee more than thou wilt ever know.

When I first met thee, my soul had been scarred,  
For I had only known pain in my world.  
Thou found'st thy way to the depths of my heart,  
By show'ring me with kind actions and words.

Ne'er have I felt such happiness before,  
Until, that is, you showed thy love for me.  
That fateful which we kissed at the port.  
T'was then, realized I, how much I loved thee.

Looking in your eyes, so pure and so blue,  
Making me fall deeper in love with you


	5. His Nightmare, Her Reality

A/N: while this story is mostly focused on Murrue, I thought this might be a nice follow-up chapter to Nightmare.

Key:  
normal font: story,  
lyrics  
_italics:_ thoughts or dreams

theme: love, hurt/comfort, tragedy

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam SEED, nor do I own Linkin Park's "Leave out all the Rest". If I had owned Gundam, then Mwu wouldn't have died and blah blah blah. Okay, enough with my rantings, enjoy!

* * *

Mwu tossed and turned in his bunk. Dreams plagued him during his few moments of sleep; and when he was awake, the nightmarish reality of war numbed his senses and perception of reality. Waking or sleeping, he was in a never ending nightmare. This one was particularly bothersome. It was all too real for him.

_ The empty void of space. His GUNDAM soared through the skies as a battle raged on. His scanners picked up something, mobile suits. He quickly maneuvered through and incapacitated all of them. He stared out, glancing at the heavenly ship that he called "home". Valiantly, she held off her attackers. Laser bullets sped past him, "What the?" turning around, he fires his gun at his attacker, but a few shots hit him. Realizing the danger he was in, Mwu flies off to return to the Archangel. Just as he is about to enter the docking bay, he sees a something that looks like the Archangel charging its cannon, preparing for a final attack. The black ship fires its charge. It hits him! The target is the Archangel. Fear overwhelms him. Without a second thought, he speeds towards the bridge of the ship to block the hit. He turns on the comlink to the Archangel's bridge. Smirking, he stares at the brunette captain, his sky blue eyes, meeting the captain's marigold ones, twinkle with his signature mischievousness, "Didn't I tell you I can make the impossible possible?" He shouts as the Strike takes the hit full on. Murrue's eyes widen and tears pool up in the corners of her eyes. The GUNDAM shatters, _"_Goodbye Murrue, I love, I always have. Finish the war so you can live in a better place." His last thoughts before a bright light consumes him._

I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared  
But no one would listen, 'cause no one else cared  
After my dreaming, I woke with this fear  
What am I leaving when I'm done here?

Blinking, Mwu opens his eyes, a bright fluorescent light temporarily blinds him. Blinking a few times, he puts his arm over his eyes to help them adjust. He stares out towards the light source. His door was opened, light from the hallway flooded in and left a path of light right to where his face was. He saw a shadowed figure, feminine. He tried to make out her face, but the shadows were too stark. "Mwu," she whispered, and immediately, he knew who his visitor was.

"Murrue." A smile formed on his lips as he stared at the beautiful woman in front of him. Murrue walked forward, towards him.

"I heard you shouting in your sleep. I…I was worried."

So if you're asking me, I want you to know

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed  
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest,

"It was just a bad dream," he replied, smiling at her reassuringly, "sorry to bother you." She sat down on the bed and wrapped her small arms around him from behind.

"Something tells me this isn't the first time you've dreamt this is it?" His silence gave her the answer she needed. _Oh Mwu, you fight so hard and then have to face this at night. Why can't this war be over?_ Mwu turned around so that he now faced her. He pulled her further into their embrace and placed a light kiss on her lips.

"Ya know something? You worry too much." Murrue stared at him, looking hurt. Mwu just flashed her his signature smile, "Being worried all the time isn't good, plus, don't worry 'bout me. Just get some rest okay?" Murrue rested her head on his shoulder. "Okay."

Don't be afraid  
I've taken my beating, I've shared what I made  
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through  
I've never been perfect, but neither have you

The next morning, Mwu awoke. Trying to get out of bed, he realized that he was tangled in the bed sheets and a brunette woman. He smiled to himself, kissed her temple, and held her closer as he drifted back to sleep. Murrue stirred. She had felt a shift in weight on the bed and wondered it Mwu had gotten up. She turned her head and saw that he was still there. Unable to sleep anymore, but not wanting to disturb his sleep, Murrue's thought drifted to the previous night's conversation.

"Hey Murrue,"

"yeah?"

"What would happen if I was gone?"

"As in disappear for a while gone or…"  
"Dead, gone." Murrue's face dropped, "If…If there ever comes a time that I can't be there for you, please move on."

"How can you say stuff like that?" Murrue's mind reeled back to the last person who told her those lines, a young mobile armor pilot. He said those exact lines right before he died later that day.

"Murrue, I'm being serious. We're in a war. I promise that I will stay be your side as long as I live. But, with the types of bastards we're up against, I can't guarantee that I'll be alive to see the end of this war."

"You won't die. You…you can't right? I said you could make the impossible possible right? You promised me. That…that you wouldn't leave." Murrue look sat Mwu, gazing out the window and out to the space beyond. "Mwu?"

"Damn these dreams. I keep seeing me throwing myself in front of the Archangel, protecting its clone," he speaks out loud, almost sounding distant.

"Mwu. The Archangel has no clone. It's just a dream. We'll all be alright…and alive at the end of this."

"Heh, yeah. Enough worrying. Let's go to sleep."

So if you're asking me, I want you to know

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed  
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest

An alarm blared throughout the ship, awaking the sleeping couple. They jumped out of bed, changed their clothes and rant o the bridge to see what was going on. A large battleship and fleet of mobile suits had engaged them in combat. Mwu and Murrue stared out to the large black ship in front of them. Except for the difference in color, it was an exact copy of the Archangel. Mwu headed immediately for the loading bay. Just as he was about to get ready to leave, he sees Murrue floating towards him on the camera. Unbuckling himself, he goes outside the suit.

"I thought I wouldn't make it in time."

"For what?" Murrue's locket floats up between the two, "oh. He was a mobile armor pilot wasn't he?" Murrue nodded. Mwu held her shoulders and softly kissed her. "Don't worry, I'll be back sooner than you think, with victory in hand." He smile and got back in the cockpit. Murrue returned to the bridge.

Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well  
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself  
I can't be who you are

The battle raged on that day. The Earth Alliance, led by the prejudiced Murata Azreal, had fired nuclear bombs at the PLANTs, and in relatiation, Zaft had launched its own nuclear strike with the Genesis. The crew of the Dominion fled from the ship in a mutiny by it's captain, Natarle Badgiruel, against Azreal. As the Dominion approaches, it charges to fire it's lohengrins at the Archangel. A bright green light lights up the emptiness of space.

"Captain," shouts Tonemura.

"Evade!" Murrue's commanding voice of battle ringing throughout the bridge

"Too late."

Murrue and the rest of the Archangel crew prepare themselves of the worst. But when that fateful explosion did not occur, Murrue dared to open her eyes. In horror, her eyes widen and she sees who blocks the deadly shot.

"Didn't I tell you I could make the impossible, possible?" asks Mwu. His Gundam, the Strike, lies there, in front of the ship where the laser blows the Strike into many pieces. Murrue cries as she covers her face with her hands.

"MWU!!!" she shouts.

"The Dominion is still closing."

"Aim lohengrin..." Murrue said, her voice a mix of fury, rage, hurt, and grief, "FIRE!" Aimed at the Dominion, the lohengrin not only destroys the ship, but the lives of two individuals. One was her former lieutenant, Natarle Badgerule, and the other was the maniacal anti-coordinator leader of Blue Cosmos, Murata Azreal.

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed  
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest

Murrue kept a brave face on during the peace talks. But the second the door shut behind her in her room, the tears surfaced and poured out like there was no tomorrow. For Murrue, there might as well not be a tomorrow, her grief was so strong.

Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well  
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself  
I can't be who you are

I can't be who you are


End file.
